Monday, April 16, 2007

How not to commit suicide on the internet

It's an online classic: Goodbye, cruel world, I'm logging off...for the last time!

How amazingly pathetic and embarassing, not to mention poorly written. I call melodramatic 19-year-old, too-much-Radiohead-and-Nine-Inch-Nails, nothing-better-to-do-so-let's-see-what-happens bullshit.

I've known people with terminal illnesses and constant pain that took their own lives after long struggles, both physical and emotional. I still wish they hadn't. But the one constant in those siutations is they had a) expressable, specific reasons and b) none chose to reveal those reasons with a fake farewell pity party. "I will be too dead to judge your entries?" C'mon -- with listed influences like Silent Hill and Lovecraft, that's the best you could do? And of course, there is absolutely no way for his "death" to reach us in the real world, so it's all a safe, sick joke. On you. Let's hear it for respecting the community.

This is neither an original idea nor an effective one, and I can't wait to see the insulting "social experiment" explanation when our hero comes back to his senses after realizing all he has to live for and/or "just to see if anybody cared." If you'd like, I'm betting we can all write it now. (Alternate ending: Dire-Wasp is dead, so "here's my new online nickname.")

Seeing juvenile soap-opera nonsense like this is the ultimate insult to anyone who ever did have a legitimate reason. And Dire-Wasp doesn't, so don't let yourself be emotionally manipulated by the amateur hour.

That's all the attention I'm giving this failed piece of performance art, and more than it deserves. Please press play on your MP3 players; "Hurt" by NIN should be properly cued up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think you should cut him a little slack. He never went into great detail about exactly why he was depressed in the first place, so I don't think there is enough information available to say he doesn't have any real problems in his life. Also, there doesn't really have to be any "real" problems in a person's life for them to become suicidal. That's why it's a "mental" disorder. It means the person isn't thinking rationally. When a person has totally destroyed their self-worth in their own mind, every little failure they experience in their day to day life reinforces their conclusion that they don't deserve to live, until it gets to the point that something very minor can put them over the edge. He also said he was already on medication, and there is a lot of news recently about how anti-depressants can actually increase suicidal thoughts in some young adults. I went through a scenario 10 years ago that was very similar to what this guy described, and I don't think he's faking. Sure, he made a lot of people very uncomfortable with his post, but that's what depressed people do. Poor judgement and self-destructive behavior is part of the disease, and it usually results in ticking off people who might otherwise have been supportive. He came back and apologized, so I'm glad he's ok and I think he's an ok guy in my book.