Cartoon pervs, unite!

If you're reading this, it's time to accept a fundamental truth: You've probably found yourself turned on by a cartoon. I'm not ashamed to say that my avatar -- created with what little Photoshop skills I possess -- was inspired by Jessica Rabbit's famed cleavage. I've got a well-documented thing for redheads, so Jessica's outrageous dimensions is a no-brainer. That doesn't mean I don't also have naughty mental images of Ariel, Josie McCoy (you know, leader of the Pussycats), and Kim Possible.

Sick? Not really. When you're turned on by something that doesn't and can never really exist, you take your perverted thrills where you can find them. Anything can happen in the cartoons, right?

Jessica's a rarity in that she was created with the sole purpose of being outrageously and unrealistically sexy. But I hereby challenge those who count themselves among my fetishy ranks not to find this image of Mrs. Van Dort from Corpse Bride practically bursting with subtext:

Yes, she's matronly and rather villainous. No, she's not supposed to be sexy. Yes, that's an amazing bottom-heavy hourglass and holy shit, she looks like she's tightly inflated. When I went to see Corpse Bride in the theater, I had trouble thinking about anything else. I still want to get it on DVD for this reason.

Feel no shame. Cartoons are kind of all we have.

Inflatable dreams

I had a long one last night that suddenly went inflatably erotic. I won't bore you with the details, because everybody likes to tell their dreams and nobody likes to hear them, but it was a bit like an ARG or the Michael Douglas movie The Game, except my wife had created the adventure just for me. And since she had creative control, she added a bit where one of the contacts I had to meet in the middle of the night happened to be a hot redhead...and she started inflating, breast & belly, right in front of me, as part of the plotline. It was a "oh, they found me out! You've got the information I shouldn't have given you, so go now and use it, you don't have a lot of time" type thing. But naturally, I was thinking "Screw the game, I don't care if this is just props and special effects -- I'm staying here and enjoying this!" And I woke up shortly thereafter, because that was clearly a "Cut! We're off script" moment.

I don't have inflatably erotic dreams too often, but when I do, it messes me up for the following day. Understandably, I don't want to leave that mindset.